


Love is bullshit

by stelaLTMSYF



Category: Teenage Bounty Hunters, stepril
Genre: F/F, Happy, Homosexual, Non-English writer, christian - Freeform, girlxgirl, stepril - Freeform, teenage bounty hunters - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-28
Updated: 2020-08-28
Packaged: 2021-03-07 02:00:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,582
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26159164
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stelaLTMSYF/pseuds/stelaLTMSYF
Summary: Love is bullshit and April Stevens don't belive in it.But how will you believe in love when it brokes your heart.Even everyone knows love is not what we now and even it let you down, can come back stronger than ever.
Relationships: April Stevens/Sterling Wesley, Stepril - Relationship, Sterling Wesley/April Stevens, Sterling/April, april x sterling, april/sterling, sterling x april
Comments: 3
Kudos: 63





	Love is bullshit

**Author's Note:**

> this is written by a non-english speaker so please, be gentle

If I have to be honest, I never believed in love.  
I always thought it was like a movie thing. Something that Hollywood creates in their movies that ends being a total bullshit and the only thing that makes you really feel is pain. Because that thing when you feel butterflies in your stomach or that you can’t erase the person out of your mind, is just your brain telling you how bad this is for you. How is only the devil, bringing you pain because you are a sinner.  
And I guess, even there was a moment where I thought that maybe I was wrong… I was right. I have been always right. Because love is bullshit, love, at the end of the day, is only what the others says, the normal… and the normal, was not feeling love for her, for Sterling.  
God, that was the most hardest thing I ever did in my life.   
Some of you guys would say “nah, forgetting someone is easy”. Well, is not. Not when that person was your first everything. Your first love, your first kiss, your first… reality. Because, even if I really don’t want to admit it… when that kiss happened… I realized that even I was sure of so many things… I wasn’t. Because in this world, even when you are sure you know everything and you are totally sure of who you are, you are not. Nobody knows themselves one hundred person. I know. Sterling made me realize that when she kissed me and… maybe one of the few beautiful things that ever happened in my life, started… and, suddenly ended.  
We felt in love, we lived it and we broke up.  
All happened so fast that now, a month latter, it felt like it was years ago.  
Thanks the Lord, I tried to focus myself in others thing. The Debate Club, Youngs for the Lord and all the clubs I could make myself into it so I could be as busy as I could. I stopped thinking about her, ignoring her, till the day that everything started all over again.  
It was Friday, afternoon. The Charity for poor Kids club, a very offensive club, if I had to be honest; finished their monthly meeting for event to make money for children needed. I, as their first white female president, was finishing to clean everything when I heard a knocking on the door.   
“The meeting finished ten minutes ago. If you were a good christina…” I started speaking without even looking at the person who knocked when suddenly “Sterling…”   
It was the first time, literally, I saw her since like… the break up. Not that I didn’t see her everyday on school, but… literally, this was the first time I saw her… really saw her. Alone. With nobody around us.   
“Hi” she says.  
A smile. Just a smile and I was already hating myself. Why? The feelings were there again. How the hell I was supposed to function when just a smile was enough to make me feel helpless again?  
“What are you doing here?” I ask, wishing nobody was at this hours at the school.  
“I… I wanted to give you this” I look at her hand, a check “My family made a donation”  
“Thank you”  
Quickly, I take the check and turn to the other side. Wishing I could be strong enough to resist the needed to turn at her, look at her… and kiss her. Because, fuck it, i wanted. I still wanted. Even when I knew daddy was at home, even when I knew this was going to be the death of me, I still was wanting to… kiss her.  
“Ok…” is the only thing she says.  
I wait. I don’t turn back. I wait till I hear her foots walking away from me. I wait… but nothing happens. She stays in the room and when I finally turn, with a lump in my throat, her eyes are on me. And she moved closer to me…  
“What?” I ask like I didn’t know what she was probably trying to do.  
“It has been a long time since we weren’t like this” I don’t even know what to say to that.  
I can only look at her, try to breath, because trying to stay in the mood.  
“We have been doing school activities…” I start talking when she cuts it.  
“You know what I mean” and suddenly, I can’t breath when I look at her “I miss you”  
I know I’m going to cry because my eyes burn like hell and I can feel the pain in my throat, stopping me from almost breathing. Sterling stays there, looking at me. With a tiny smile on her lips, but the pain in her eyes.  
“Don’t” I reply “Please, don’t”  
“I don’t care” she continues when she takes a step closer to me.  
"people can hear us" i reply... scared, not gonna lie.  
"People are already out of this school" Sterling had all under control "I know. I checked every side of this site"  
I take a breath, i feel my heard beating so fast that it feels like a hearth attack"  
"It seems like you thought in everything" i say to her.  
"I did" she smiles, proud of it "You have no idea how many times i planned this"  
"planned what?"  
"This" she says "What will happen her"suddenly, i'm scared “For a moment, I will let myself become selfish and I will say all I want because if I continue one day more with this, Blair is going to kill me and I’m too young to buried without living my life and…”  
“Sterling” she stops herself, but don’t let me continue.  
“I miss you” she says “I miss you like I never missed anyone in my life”  
“You have Luke” even I didn’t want to admit it, when she started dating Luke again like the next day… that was when I knew love sucked.  
“And I still can’t stop thinking about you”  
I can’t. Not like this. She was the worst debating, and yet, she could always find the right thing to tell me to make me fall again for her. It was stupid.  
“I told you.” I breath “Our… whatever… can’t be possible”  
If I had to do it, I was going to do it. It was going to be hard as fuck. But at least, I could fight a little back and maybe, do it right finally.  
“I know” I don’t know why, but that was not the response I was waiting.  
“You know?” sterling nods “Then why are you telling me this?”   
“Because I want to” she says, like It was no a big thing “Because I need to. Because when I go to sleep, you are there. When I try to find more guys to date, hell, even more girls; there are something that brings me back to you” I had to look away if I wanted to keep myself together “I don’t know why, April, but with you… it has been the only time I have been feeling alive” she steps closer to me, so close that I can even feel her smell when I breath “April” she calls me, when I look at her, and her eyes are on me “I know you are afraid, I know you don’t want me” that was not true “I know that for now, you will be Queen Bitch. But that’s not going to stop me to loving you more”   
“Sterling, stop” I didn’t want to, but I needed.  
“No” her hand on my hand and finally, I lose myself “With you, I discovered a part of me that I’m loving each day more and more and… even you are trying to push me away…”  
“I’m not” I lie.  
“You are” Sterling replies “You are pushing me away… but I’m not going to stop not ‘till I make you mine… but till you know… I’m still waiting for you”  
And in the moment she stops speaking, a dull silence fills the atmosphere. She doesn’t talk. I don’t talk. It’s like we are waiting for our hearts, for our actions to speak. And they do when I don’t know why, I take her hand back. She looks at them, and then at me again. Her smiles becomes happier. I don’t say anything.  
With my other hand, I take her shirt. My eyes are on that hand till I move them slowly to her eyes. They literally shine. “Bluer” than ever. It’s like she was some kind of siren at that moment. Even not a single word was needed for me to step closer to her and kiss her again without thinking about what that could mean.  
And honestly, I don’t give a shit about it.  
In that moment, it was like it was all I needed. Like it was what I wanted because it was what I was praying for. After all, if Eve eat the apple of Eden, it was because she knew that there was something better than paradise.  
And I guess like Eve, I knew there was something better than paradise: and that was Sterling arms. Sterling’s hands, lips, Sterling’s everything.   
Was I right doing that? I had no idea. For what I knew, that was what I wanted and what maybe, even God wanted for me. Being with her…it’s all I needed.  
“I miss you too” i say, i confess


End file.
